THE VINTAGE RUGBY CARNIVAL – CHRISTCHURCH, NEW ZEALAND.
SEPTEMBER 14-20, 2008
COUNTDOWN TO CHRISTCHURCH
ISSUE 5, MARCH 23, - 2007

*Explosions of joy are normally few and far between. If you join the Vintage Whines there are explosions all over the place*

1. ONLY TWO WEEKS TO GO. I need to know if you're coming to Christchurch by Friday April 6. Please e-mail me at geoffandrews@gmail.com

2. From Adrian Barwick "You know, if men were equipped with two sexual appendages instead of one, I bet 'ol Bill Rung would love dancing to that "Hokey Pokey" song."

3. CHRISTCHURCH – DID YOU KNOW? You can take a balloon safari in Christchurch. The area's geography and climate are ideal for ballooning - they provide a unique situation where passengers can experience Canterbury's landscape as only a few have seen it - from a gently floating hot air balloon. 'There is no other place in the world where it is possible to fly from the center of the city, in view of the sun rising out of the ocean, toward the snow-capped Southern Alps. Check out the web site at
http://www.ballooning.co.nz/

4. NEWSFLASH - *Suicide Bomber Turns Mime Convention Into Scene of Unspeakable Horror*

5. Thanks to Dianne Russell for this site: - http://www.dyewell.com/saveboston/

6. CHRISTCHURCH – DID YOU KNOW? The Christchurch Tramway is a quality inner city tour experience that combines the heritage of the trams, attractions and historic buildings with the culture of the Garden City. The beautifully restored heritage trams are also available for cocktail functions or a unique dining experience on the Christchurch Tramway Restaurant. Maybe we can have the Whines team dinner on a tram?? Check out http://www.tram.co.nz/

7. From Terry O'Donnell – "I'll never forget that second game in Buenos Aires. I was devastated when the end-of-the-half whistle sounded and our forwards hadn't made it from the sideline to get in position for the opening kickoff. We gotta be in better shape for Christchurch"

8. The 4 Key Love Making Tips for Vintage Whines from Cindy Turner.

a> "Put on your glasses. This is essential so as to double check that your partner is actually in the bed with you."
b> "Set the alarm timer for 2 minutes, just in case you doze off in the middle of the performance."
c> "Set the mood with lighting. Ideally start by turning them ALL OFF!"
d> "Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin."

9. CHRISTCHURCH – DID YOU KNOW? The Christchurch Casino is generally regarded as the best in New Zealand. It's not Vegas, but does have roulette, blackjack, baccarat, poker, slot machines etc. etc. For more info check out
http://www.christchurchcasino.co.nz/index.shtml

10. NEWSFLASH - A lunar eclipse occurred over the weekend of March 3 and 4 when Vintage Whine Roger Driver briefly stepped in front of the moon.

11. LONG BEACH (NY) - The fledgling Nation of Ronneystan, established some time ago by self-proclaimed Dictator and President-For-Life Mike Rooney, has announced a breakthrough trade agreement with a local Waldbaum's supermarket. The store on Long Beach Plaza, close to the KFC, will provide the Rooneystan-nation with all of its rice, bread, fresh produce and breakfast cereals, and will share supply rights with the Long Beach Liquor Mart for the traditional Rooneystan fare of beer and Cool Ranch Doritos. Said President Rooney, "Let our people feast of the good bounty that our allies in the Grocery Empire can provide. Let there be Totino's Pizza Rolls for all...........yeah. What it is!"